I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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