You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
