I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
