is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
