It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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