A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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