I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
