one two three fourrrrnication!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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