Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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