Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
