Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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