Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
