Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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