They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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