i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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