im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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