wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize