so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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