that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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