I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
