That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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