If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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