Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
