Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
