I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
