ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
