I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize