His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
