And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
