Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
