Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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