I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
