he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
