Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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