how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
