I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
