I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
