i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
