no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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