Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
