Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I had to cum in my sink.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
