Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
