I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
