id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
even my farts smell like vagina
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
