I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
