I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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