I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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