She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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