just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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