Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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