...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
