While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
