there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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