I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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