That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
