I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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