I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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