all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
why does every cop we meet know your name?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
