I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
