Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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