I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
