3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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